Musings On Veils....

Apart from the wonderful irony of Baronees Deech attacking Muslim home educators in the same week we started this blog on home education matters, and referred to it as us slipping under the veil... I have been thinking about veils a lot.

I attended the funeral of a significant family member last month - January is the month of death in the Northern Europe pagan calander. Snowdrops, those lovely white promises of spring and warmth, as they push through the cold dead earth... were often referred to as death flowers. When the snowdrops appear, the old and sick, would fade. January and February have the highest death tolls amongst the old and sick, even today.

I thought about veils, as I sat in the pew at the deceased's funeral mass, and observed his widow of 55 years marriage, cope with people making eye contact with her. She desperately needed a veil. When I was a child, she could have worn one. I remember sitting in Church, with women with veils over their faces, when it was a funeral. It wasn't common, but it was normal. If old fashioned. I sat watching the widow grieve, and not know how to respond when people, the priest, strangers, kept engaging in eye contact with her, and she did not want to have to face them. To face them.

So I have been thinking about it a lot. Was it better that we'd thrown out that mourning ritual, and allowed the grief to show? Except it wasn't showing. The problem was she had to wear a mask, as she did not have access to the veil: too old fashioned. A mask that she was 'doing all right'. Subsequently, she isn't going outside, unless she feels very strong: her face gives her away. Her grief is written large upon it, and it is locked into her eyes. To go out, she has to find the strength for a mask, so she isn't going through. Is pushing a mask over your grief, better than pulling a veil over your face? I don't think so. I vote for a veil.

The whole "we don't like women being forced to wear veils as signs of religion" thing confuses me, utterly. I grew up with women who wore veils as a sign of their religious belief, and it was both respected, and held up as a role model. A spiritual role model, it had to be said. Whilst many a Catholic mother fantasised about one of the sons (Never their only son) being a priest, few wanted their daughters to be nuns. Nuns were divorced from their blood families, and weren't there for shopping, cleaning, tea, gossip and babies. A woman was always going to rely on her daughters, to care for her in old age, and having a nun as a daughter had to be a sign of the daughter's devotion to God, above her devotion to her blood family. So it was a two edged sword. Many girls who went into Holy Orders, did so under a cloud, as their income was lost from the family, as well as their domestic work. So on all aspects, it was difficult. It might be less so, in large families with a range of children in ages and running up to double digits... but few of those families existed when I was growing up. even families with 4 or 5 kids.. the 'loss' of a daughter to The Veil, was significant. As was the emotional loss - she left the family in order to join another.

So the taking of the veil was significant, on many counts. And for all the double edgedness of the sword, it was always respected. Nuns were 'special'. They had given up something significant, to take the veil, and that sacrifice, and the sacrifice of a life in service to another, was seen as worthy of respect and honour.

And in this respect and honour, everyone was very aware of why the hair was being covered by the veil. It was a sign of humility, and dedication, and of being chaste. Women's hair was dangerous: it enticed men. A woman's hair was "her crowing glory" and should be covered at times of worship. All Catholic women wore the veil when I grew up - hair had to be covered in Mass. And if you asked why, you were told upfront and without censure: in case the beauty of a woman's hair, should distract a man from prayer. Women being responsible for how men reacted to their femaleness, was deeply entrenched in my culture. "Asking for it" was a very prominent feature of how a woman could come to be punished, chastised or raped for her inappropriate behaviour. Decent women covered themselves... decently. And in Church, all women covered their hair, in order to be decent before God.

So it does confuse me, that now that women of Islamic faiths also wear their veils... it's such a bad thing. It's not like we presumed Christian women, don't. Even if you're not Catholic, and therefore didn't do the entire First Holy Communion thing, with your 7 year old girls turning up for their first Eucharist dressed as Brides, it the hope they too will one day move on to be Brides of Christ... we're all indoctrinated from very early on, for the joy of the moment we get to wear our veil.

Wearing our veil is something we are all told to aspire to, and dream off. The defining moment in the defining day of being female. When you lift your pretty white lacy veil... and kiss your husband for the first time. Thousands of hours and often hundreds, if not thousands, of pounds, are spent on the at veil. On the moment of reveal and the moment of perfection, when you walk down the aisle, and your father hands you to your husband... and your veil is lifted for his eyes, and his eyes only.

So, remind me again why veils are a sign of abuse, intolerance, subjugation and mysogeny? Something to protect women from, in case they don't know what is good for them?

I can hear some of your screaming, you know. You're all shouting at the screen and saying "IT'S OKAY IF YOU _WANT_ TO WEAR ONE, BUT NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU WEAR ONE." And yes, intrinsically, you are correct. Forcing women under the veil, is a very bad thing indeed. And we can agree, utterly, that many women who are forced to wear one, hate it. And it's A Very Bad Thing Indeed.

But there are two things to be said there. One, define 'forced'. I was forced to wear a veil for a few hours of my life, every Sunday whilst I was growing up. Several times, I was forced to do so, by women who had voluntarily chosen to wear a veil for their entire lives. Not to wear one, in Church, was a sign of disrespect. Just like my shoes had to be polished, my knickers clean, my face clean of make up and the paperback I'd smuggled into my hymn book, removed. I was made to conform, in all aspects of the social conditioning my culture operated in. But when I got to be an adult, I could throw it all away. Or keep it, if I wanted. I find it fascinating that the moment the veil is Islamic, there is no such things as free choice. How many of the so called 'forced' women around you are wearing their veils because they choose to? Quite a few, I imagine. How can you then use the presence of that veil and 'subjugation'? I'd call your assumption, racist. And if you argue that, please go up and 'liberate' the next Nun you see. I'm sure she'll be happy for you to have freed her from her male oppressors.

Do the same to a bride at her wedding! That will be such a laugh. Honestly, you'll split your sides.

As a teacher in State schools until recently, I often observed girls of Islamic faith coming in with a hijab one day, and not wearing one the next. It often depended how they felt in the morning, as they got dressed. No doubt some days they felt the yoke of oppression, and others they didn't.

The other point is that as I got older, Vatican 2 had begun to impact, and the rules relaxed: they changed, they moved with the people. The rules on both religious dress, and religious observance, changed. Many of the older habits were replaced with less cloth, and more face. Sometimes, even hair!

Religions are not set in stone: they adapt to the ideas of the people running them. I watched these changes occur, throughout my childhood, with the covering of hair in Church. Many chose hats rather than head scarves, and after cheap package holidays many wore lace Mantillas from Spain, rather than more dowdy head scarves. So much so, in fact, one memorable rant from the pulpit reminded the 'women of the parish' that covering female hair was about respecting God, and not entrancing the men... spending hours getting your hair teased out and putting a frothy lace concoction on it, to catch the eye.. Was Not The Point.

Which was, in fact, quite funny. Because compared to Protestant repressed Scottish Catholicism, actual Spanish Catholicism was a harlot's dream. Those very lace mantillas causing problems in Scottish Catholic Churches, would have been used as handkerchiefs in Spain, where the statues of the Holy Mother had lipstick and blusher on them, and real jewels embroidered on her clothes. Where Spanish women may have had their hair covered in Church, but the concept that they were doing to HIDE themselves, was funny. Where respect and decorum was the right type of attire, in the right circumstance, but you could still DISPLAY the goods. And that, of course, is one of the huge problems about veils: they engender mystery. And mystery is a tease. The chaste women covering herself in self-respect... is the harlot doing the dance of the seven veils ten minutes and two hits of sambucha, later.

Veils and females... is actually quite complicated. They are sometimes about both hiding yourself, and at other times about rejecting the vision of others. Men in our culture don't like their gaze being shut out. It quite offends them. Women are to be looked at, and heaven help any woman who robs you of that pleasure, on your terms.

Veils can be about subjugation of the female to male desire.. and they can be about female independence. Not free to walk around with leering men.. but free to decide where and when your public and private spaces, meet. Veils can be a triumph of personal insight and reflection to your own character. I've witnessed two veilings in my life, when a female has undertaken the sacrament of marriage to Christ, and earned her veil. Both were some of the most powerful spiritual moments I've witnessed.

I also routinely wear a veil, to worship. When I work magically within Qabaliq tradition, I wear my head completely covered, and my hair utterly out of sight. I don't do it because I think I should, or because someone told me, in a book, or in person, that it's 'right'. I do it, because when I decide to commune with that type of power, it feels the right way to do it. Have I absorbed all those comments and rulings over all the years... I'll never know. But I know that as pagan, I use the veil a lot. Both as something that signals there is a time for withdrawal, and a time for self reflection, and for introspection. And it's got nothing to do with anyone looking at me.

I know, that as a pagan woman, the veil stands for many things in my life, and that often makes others uncomfortable. The veil is how we refer to moving from life, to death. The veil is a shadowing of light. Shadows are important, to pagans. We reject the duality of the light/dark divide to be found amongst the Children of Abraham. We respect you believe differently.. but we reject it as a world view. Likewise, we reject that the role of woman is to civilise, and make better, the male. Women and men are equal in both intent, and power, within pagan religions. The idea that a women must protect a male from seeing her beauty, to prevent a rape, or an inappropriate advance: bollocks.

Likewise, no women can claim she went mad over the sight of a beautiful male. Does that sound silly to you, the concept that male beauty can astound, defy and befuddle the senses? If it does, then odds are you are not pagan. Our male Gods are beautiful, and deadly in that beauty, too. In fact, as we are currently operating in a Wiccan mode, our male deity is spring and Green wood and green Earth, and hunting and blood and a hell of a lot of romps in the fields. Like I said, we reject duality. All people can be all things, and shadows are a valued part of the whole. Sex is valued, and is beauty, and we can cover ourselves at ritual, or work stark naked.

We can choose to work with veils. Women and veils have a natural affinity. Women carry life, and wonder for ten long moons if the life will make it out, or die aborning. We carry death as we carry our young, as a mother's heart is fearful from the moment of conception.. on how she will cope with loss, if this life is lost to her. We birth the young and we wash the dead. Women are the natural Guardians of the Veil, despite how patriarchy may then try and abuse that, and force us into servitude in its name. I think my biggest objection to those who comment on the veil.. is the person who sees a veil as a sign of a backward culture. Yes, we'll readily admit that we (read 'Christian') once wore them, and some may still do (nice Nuns) but the concept that women of other faiths still wear them.. is as sign that those women are not yet liberated. The poor Jewish woman, the poor Islamic women.. those who haven't 'advanced' enough to shrug of their veils. No concept that it might be an active, ancient, and fully endorsed by that women, choice. The religiously repressed loony Christians in the far right Bible Belt of the USA.. why some of them still cover their hair!

How many bad hair days have you looked at .. and thought... oh God, what I'd give to just be able to... But no, the tyranny of always look beautiful, and always looking well turned out, and always having tried to look good... prevails. Besides, someone might think you were a religious geek. I once had a severe ear infection, that put me is hospital for several days. In December. When I emerged, I wore a shawl wrapped around my head, covering my ears, and sat in the pub having my lunch. A man came and sat opposite me, and engaged in some extremely pointed anti-Islam comments. Because, of course, all single women in Hijab are having lunch alone in a pub... you can't just have a shawl wrapped around your head without reason. What woman would want to own that stigma without cause?

It appears to be inconceivable to some, that women might choose to work under a veil: it has to be enforced. Sometimes the veil is the front door: we choose to close it to others. But that is just as suspect as wearing the veil: why would we do that? Is it tyranny to force women under a veil? Yes. Is it tyranny to force a women not to wear one? Yes. So what is it if an observer assumes a women, of any age, wearing a veil, is being oppressed? That's racism, dummy. Oh, sorry, that's racism, Baroness...

I'd argue that the core objection to Baroness Deech's comments are actually about closed doors: how dare you close your front door to the The State. Closing your front door AND wearing a cloth around your head... two strikes on excluding The State from checking your business. I was raised by women in veils, educated by them in female only classes, and told to respect and honour their wearing of the veil as a sign of holiness and sacrifice in service of others. But I did so within the State School system. So it was okay and safe - the door of the classroom could be opened at any time, by a Government inspector. Authorities could check that whilst I was being taught within a religious framework, at the State's expense, they could also check I was being taught to be a socially responsible citizen of the State. And before you go on about bombings and jihads, and how unlikely it I would have been taught extremism... this was an Irish Catholic community in a Protestant country at the height of The Troubles. Bombs and bullets were not far from the communion wafers. And as for what happened when the Orange Walks paraded down our main street... I'll just remind you about the joke about the Glasgow man who punched out the two car bombers at Glasgow Airport a couple of years ago... "How dare you try and introduce religious extremism here, we know more about it than you!"

But it was the State Schooling System that taught me that women were responsible for the behaviour of men. That wearing short skirts would entice rape, and your were responsible for it if it happened. It taught me that the powerful Nun in charge of my world, deferred in all things to the Priest, and in turn, everyone deferred to the Bishop. The lessons I learned at home, matched those of the School System. So my indoctrination, and my learning about my lower role in life in general, but my exalted position as the female who had the power to redeem the feckless drunken men of the world... was utterly State sanctioned. And therefore it was acceptable. But the winds have changed on faith schools... for just to be taught by someone of faith, within the confines of that faith., is now dangerous.

They might not be teaching you to vote Labour at the next election.

As a former Labour die hard (Lanarkshire Labour for goodness sake!) you've no idea how much that statement pains me.

And that appears to be the Crux of the Matter of the Veil. Not, are these female children of those of the Islamic faiths, being given freedom to decide that as adults, they can take it off... but are they getting the correct State message on how to act, and work, in our society? Behind closed doors, the state cannot check the right messages are getting through. The current Labour obsession with education education education is about a firm belief that if you raise all children to be fair minded, responsible, hard working, fit and healthy citizens.. they will all vote Labour.

The home of fair minded, responsible, hard working fit and healthy citizens fighting for the right of all working class people to be.. middle class. The Labour Party is going to free all children from the chains of... being different. Only the right age, shape, weight, academically achieved and economically well being child should exist... and only the Labour Party can ensure this, through the State School System. Resist, and you are suspect. The New Labour Party is non-faithed - so all threats of religious viewpoint challenging the dominant mythology of the working class family crawling to suburbia.. will be exterminated. If you are not in school, you are in danger. If you are in a faith system strong enough for you to display that... you are in danger.

And You Will Be Saved!

Deviant women... women who educate... women with closed doors... women with veils... need not apply....

Too dangerous.