The Dark Secret

I probably haven't mentioned this, as we've been a bit busy on other things, since we started. But I probably should mention our family's Dark Secret.

It's not that we are autonomous. Well, actually, Osiris is as un-autonomous as you can get, as a significant other.. but I digress. I mean, of course, that we are allowing Beltane to take charge of his own learning. We not only home school, in the USA parlance, we unschool.

Being an autonomous educator at the moment, especially in the UK, is to live in perilous times. I've been reading some other blog links this week, from other autonomous educators, and most of them have started with... a list of "don'ts". Don't get worried about...

And I have to say, it's not usually a list I have resonated with. Usually, I'm not worried about one thing on the list!

I have, in fact, a litany of non-worry behind me. I'm so not worried about making sure Beltane has access to work sheets, curriculum texts, good reading sources and ahem.. socialisation opportunities... that I may end up being a Badman study all of my very own.

All the things I'm not worried about. The timetabling, the resources, the scheduling, the socialisation issues... all the things that apparently make other unschoolers a little worried.. a little tense, about. A little "Are we doing the right thing?" about.

Are things I never worry about.

Why do I never worry about them? Well, that's the Dark Secret (TM) copyright Unhallowed Ground.

I never worry about them, because I am a... teacher.

Yes, that's right. I am a teacher. Not an education facilitator, a resource provider or a learning opportunity provider... a teacher. Qualified Teacher Status. And not just any teacher, oh no! I'm a super uber teacher. I did independent research into how to teach.. creativity. I am a Very High Level Creative teacher. With paperwork.

Which is why, I can happily ignore all the other fears and terrors of being an autonomous un-educator. I can also flip Badman the bird. Anyone comes near me, and I can prove "Homework has no proven benefit." before you can say "Yes, we fed him today."

I am still a paid up teaching union member, and a highly respected member of the teaching community.

Love teaching, hate schools.

I'm lucky enough to have worked in, and trained with, the best of the best. High achieving academic stardom. I've been trained in brain based learning, and how to facilitate teaching in all but the clinically brain dead. I have actually taught brain dead students, and got them a 'G' at GCSE. On the basis that I got written work out of them, when most other teachers couldn't. (They weren't actually brain dead, btw, just so turned off education, you might assign them that status out of self-defence.)

I have a first class honours degrees, a masters in education, and most of a PhD.

I am learn-ed.

And thus, I know that schooling, and knowledge and learning, are not obvious bedfellows.

It is a heavy burden I bear, at times. I can tell you. All around me, parents angst, and obsess, and wonder... am I doing the right thing for my child? Is it okay for me not to send them to school?

Yes. It's okay.

(It's also okay, actually, to send them, if you would. Schools are as good as their teachers. There are some rip-roaring excellent teachers out there. No matter how bad a school is, and how much damage it is doing.. there are some kids who will thrive. Your kid might be one of them.)

I also understand, that no matter how good a school is, educationally.. most of them beat the desire to learn right out of their kids. Especially the best ones. That in a tick-box culture, adding more work to the reward list on excellent work.. is not A Good Thing. That fast tracking excellent kids through Maths, for instance, is a good way to make sure they never do Maths again in their entire lives. Therefore.. what's the point? Oh yes, that would be your own tick-box from the headteacher, and your OFSTED rating?

My OFSTED rating is 'outstanding' okay? Well, it was, when OFSTED were allowed to tell you your own rating...

I also know that most teachers love their job, and their kids, and hate the school system they are locked into. Where there are no real consequences to negative behaviour, and where true innovation cannot be contained. And where, really, they'd just like to teach, without the garbage of the tick-list.

And I also know... and this is the biggy.. that kids learn. They do. They learn to the level of experience and living put in front of them. Birth a kid into an orphanage in Romania, and they will have jelly for brains inside 5 years. Birth a child into a living breathing household, with a happy adult and several books, that are read, and human interaction and excitement for life.. and they will learn everything and anything.

Children are the blotting paper of our own lives.

Whatever we put in front of them - they will absorb. They have a gazillion little neurons in their brain, called mirror neurons. When they watch someone do something in front of them, mirror neurons fire as if they had physically done it themselves. Chop an onion in front of a toddler, the toddler's brain reacts as if they toddler picked up the knife and did the chopping. When they get to do some chopping on their own, the brain remembers it knows how to - it's fired itself to do the action.

When kids see some one doing something in front of them, the mirror neurons fire, and they need to copy it - to do the thing they are seeing. When they repeat it, the neuron firing in their brain, locks the lesson of what they've seen, and what they've then done... into their hard wiring. It's called 'learning'. And the most efficient form of learning is looking, and then doing.

So no need to worry about reading, writing, 'rithmatic or rocket science. If you read in front of them, write in front of them, and count in front of them, they will learn to do so. If you speak your emotions and discuss emotional difficulties - they will learn to do so. If you attack problems as things that can be overcome.. they will learn to do so. If you cook in front of them, if you clean in front of them... they will learn to do so.

If you encourage them to take part, when they volunteer their desire to do so... they will learn.

Autonomous education is the art of living by example.

If you live in a tribal village and build canoes to fish.. your child will learn to build canoes and to fish. If you live by the computer... your child will learn to live by the computer. Further, your child will learn to read.. as they can't use a computer unless they can!

Watching you, is their first major lesson in all life skills. Copying, their second. Live a full happy life in front of your kids... they will learn to live a full and happy life. Show skills as you do them.. they will learn skills as they go.

Lazy parenting is the most efficient parenting there is. Forget teaching them to do something... do it yourself and let them copy you! And that's my teacher-ly credentials speaking - honest!

So here's my official teacher based 'don't worry' list for parents considering autonomous home education. My three tops tips:

1) Don't worry about socialisation. Worry about play. When people ask about the socialisation, reply "My child plays with other kids a lot." Make that happen. Every time someone mentions socialisation - reframe the conversation to 'play'. You'll worry a whole lot less when you do this, and people will stop asking you about it, a whole lot more. Never use the word 'socialisation', just set up a lot of play dates. Tell them a good and experienced teacher you know, has pointed out how important play is, and how much you agree with that, and move on. If you don't have access to enough other kids to do this.. play with them yourself. Get down on your hands and knees and play cowboys and endangered indigenous peoples. The play is the thing.

2) Don't worry about reading, writing or arithmetic: read, write, and count up things on your fingers. When singing alphabet rhymes, you write the letters in front of them. When working out the petrol bill, write the figures down so they can see it. Do, don't teach. Got one of those kid's sized black boards things? Put an adult chair next to it, for when you use it.

A special word about reading here. It's not read to them: read for yourself. (Of course, you read to them too!) Sit with a book in your own lap, every day. Do it in front of your child. Let them know that it's an important thing you are doing, and don't let them interrupt you. Say in an exasperated voice "I'm trying to read here!" every now and then. Talk to other adults about great books you've read, and have the conversation in front of the kids. Lead by example. Kids learn from you what is important in life. The inner space of a book, combined with the outer contact of information, makes books the number one resource in all our lives. Read that resource for yourself, in front of them. Praise the resource, and enjoy the book for you. They'll yearn for the day they too can say "Mum, get out of here, I'm reading." If books are important to you, show them that.

3) Don't worry about progression. Kids don't get better at something, in a straight line. They learn things, forget them, pick them back up and then make sudden leaps in understanding. They have to visit any new thing, at least five times, before effective memory retention is created. And that's neural. A neural connection being made in the brain, is the physical location of the learning. That neural connection is not strong and in place, until it has been fired at least five times. And it won't connect to another neuron, another bit of learning, until that connections has been hit five times... and connections can be random. So there is no such thing as "We did this yesterday, you should know it by now." Forget progression - think progress. Look at the world in yearly sections, or half yearly. Your child will be able to show a lot of progress in six months, or a year. Don't fuss about anything less - simply not worth it. Time is the biggest investment home educating families give to their children: let them mature slowly, like cheese.

Don't worry about these three things - and you'll do great! Don't worry and angst and wonder about if you are doing the right things... just live a full and happy life, with your kids standing beside you. Let them see you do... and they will too! It's science!

Trust me, I'm a teacher!

Hecate